One hot and sweat night…..Doesn’t that sound like a chapter in some Harlequin romance or something?  My honey is the sweetest many ever.  So he has been telling me to plan on last night (Friday) as a special night with him.  I assumed he was taking me out to dinner and was really looking forward to it and not having wedding plans etc for one night.  I couldn’t wait.  I straightened my hair all nice and got all dolled up.  He made me close my eyes and everything on the drive there.

When I open my eyes, there are all the women in Adam’s family and some ladies from work.  He gave  Cathi money (from his personal savings) to throw me a real true bachelorette party.  I was so surprised!!!  Pleasantly so.  And people it was a full on naughty bachelorette party like you see on the movies!  We had so much fun.

Kim had made penis cookies.  Mine was like ten times bigger than all the rest lol.  We watched this old male strippers movie from the 80′s and it was hilarious.  One guy was a gymnast.  Oh my hell I’ve never laughed so hard and I can’t even describe the gifts they gave.  We played all kinds of games and had snacks. But then we went to the club where the real party began.

First of all, I had to wear this devil veil and a pin and we had our drinks with these penis straws all night.  Then they put these tassel things on my boobs.  Then we had all these dares to do with men there.  Oh my it was hilarious.  I was helping all the single ladies do their dares.  One involving cleavage and a bald man-you get the idea.  there were these two men dancing with us all.  OH man it was hilarious.  They kept teasing me because this Spanish lady wouldn’t stop kissing me and trying to dance the lambada with me or something.  SCARY!!!  But other than that it was so much fun.  We couldn’t stop laughing all night.

EASTER SUNDAY:

I’m so excited for tomorrow.  I wasn’t going to get the usual goodies for everyone or do any of the eggs this time with the wedding, but then Adam and I ended up buying some tonight at Walmart and I just finished putting them up together.  Silly girl.

Easter is just so much fun.  When I was little, we always had an Easter egg hunt with real eggs.  It was always funny because there were always at least 1-2 eggs that we couldn’t find until there was a really foul smell about 2 months later.  I think that was the funnest part!  Actually my favorite part was always the Easter dress.  I loved that.  We always had some cute little outfit to wear to church and go see Grandma Dyer.  Usually the day before Easter we went to the Fort Douglas Club for this big buffet and Easter party.  It was a total blast.  Is it bad that all these holidays with such major religious significance, and our memories are centered around food and candy?  Lol, well its all about those family memories.

Adam’s family does something really cute.  They use jellybeans as Bunny Poop that the Easter Bunny leaves behind. I remember Adam’s and my first Easter.  We only had dated for like a month and Kim helped him get me this huge cute basket.  It was really  sweet.  And his family always gets me a big basket.  They so overdo it-so sweet.  I so have always felt such a part of that family.  Tomorrow should be really fun.  We’ve done enough of the final wedding stuff that I can just enjoy and not stress.  We will have the Easter bonnet contest as usual at Adam’s family and my family’s big Easter egg hunt.  What is cool is that its at my house this time.  We are just having snacks since its my wedding week.  Wahoo!

WEDDING WEEK:

So what is the bride to be up to this week?  Getting beautiful.  Now that is easy for some people.  It takes some of us an ENTIRE WEEK!  Its going to be really exciting!  I just can’t wait for everything.  Allison is coming to visit and us girls are going to go to dinner Thursday night.  Wednesday is the rehearsal dinner.  Friday is the wedding and then Sunday we fly out for our cruise.  Wow!!!  Its so awesome!

It was from a Barbara, a casting director with Biggest Loser asking did I get her email asking me to go to the audition in Salt Lake. 

WAS I EXCITED ABOUT THIS CALL?  Not in the least.  I seriously rolled my eyes.  I mean how many times can a fat girl get rejected from these stupid shows??? Seriously!  I want to know.

(By the way a coworker saw a promo for the ABC Obese show I auditioned for previously.  She said they chose 5 people I think-3 guys and 2 girls and she said they were in fact VERY huge-looked much bigger than me.  I may be too fat for the chimney, but apparently not fat enough lol.  I’m so watching for that show next year!)

I told Jen about it.  Its on March 20th, which is in fact this Saturday and I’m doing a bridal shower for her and I just wanted her to know about it.  She kind of helped talk me into going for it again.

I told Adam about this adventure and suddenly it all came back-all that time doing those crazy videos and getting all stressed out.  I mean I’m getting married people!  I just got a new house and work is crazy.  I don’t need anything else in my life right now I seriously don’t!  I promised him I wouldn’t do it.  He didn’t want to see me get all stressed, worked up, and then depressed about not getting picked again.

So I told Jen I wouldn’t do it and apologized but encouraged her to still go.

So last night I got ANOTHER call from Jen this time and long story short, she was able to talk me into it.  UGH.  So there are two sides to it in my mind.  I am a little excited for it.  You know me, I always crave random adventures and its comforting being admist all those fatties at once-ha ha jk.  It is fun though.  (By the way I still think they should have chosen me the FIRST time I auditioned and maybe they would have if they would’ve heard me in line.  This guy came up to all us fatties in line and asked what we were doing there.  I said………its girls gone wild.  That my friends was priceless.  I’m fat and funny-what more do you want????)  Plus its bonding with Jen and NOTHING to do with wedding stuff.

But the OTHER side is blaring out no don’t do it!  I still am, but that side is strong I must say-I guess its the protective and perhaps more logical side.  Yeah I got a call and they said to specifically ask for her or DJ there and that seems flattering, but hello I’m on their list of fatties!  These guys are the same peeps who did the last show to, so I think I’m just on their database of interesting fatties ALONG WITH PROBABLY HUNDREDS OF FATTIES.  Realistically they have to try to get tons and tons of people to show up so that they can get the best ones.  But here is another reality check.  Do you know how many thousands of people are interviewed for this?  The chances are slim I’m just saying, even though I am pretty fat and fabulous!  Ah hell, who cares.  It will be fun.  Guess I just have to convince them more how great I would be for it.  I mean hello I’m fat, competitive, fun, kinda cute for a fatty, loud, dramatic………hello that is the recipe for perfect reality show drama.  What the hell is wrong with these people???  lol

Bottom line-yes it would be awesome-hell ya.  I want to lose the weight more than anything.  I just know the odds are slim.

So the auditions are this Saturday.  They say to make sure you are all dolled up but not to wear slimming clothes lol.  So I was telling Jen we should do our hair down all nice-lots of makeup and wear the clothes that make us look the fattest.

Now I’m thinking we need to go to some hideous store and find like horrid yellow shirt with blaring purple polka dots or something.  Totally get something way too tight that shows all the bellies lol

I can’t believe I’m auditioning for yes the THIRD time for Biggest Loser, 4th time for a reality show (you have no idea how much work it is people)

By the way here is a link to our original audition video back in 2008:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ounQqzjmxpY

ANY SUGGESTIONS OF HOW TO GET NOTICED?????

Friday was awesome!  I was so excited for the open house!  And it ended up being incredibly awesome.  So much fun to see friends and family.  The food was great and everyone seemed really happy.  I’m so excited for there to be family parties here in the future.  Max and Hailey can’t wait to move in with us for a bit.  It will be so much fun!  And good training for when we have our own kids.

HOUSE:

We really do love this house.  I thank God every day for it.  It finally actually feels like its ours.  It was kind of surreal for the first little bit.  I actually drove to our apartment one time.  Old habits die hard I guess. Its so incredible to have so much more room.  We seriously love it.  Lots of things are unpacked now.  I’m waiting until after the wedding to unpack everything and do all the decorating etc.

We are seriously so spoiled!  We are getting married, we have a house and we are going on a cruise!!!

BRIDEZILLA

So I don’t really know what happened.  Saturday morning/afternoon was awesome.  Lisa and her sisters did a shower for me.  It was fun to see some of my friends.  I admit I was a little bit sad that more weren’t there.  But Saturdays are busy, I know how that goes.

So I think it all started with the computer problems.  I had a big list of things to do that evening.  I was trying to get more done that day, so there wouldn’t be quite so much to do on Sunday.

I was a little frustrated at first, but nothing too out of the ordinary.  After all, I’m pretty used to working on house or wedding stuff with nearly all my spare time.  I just know that is how its going to be until the wedding.  Life is just busy.

So anyway a lot of what I had to, I needed a computer for.  So first of all, I go to my computer and I can’t even get it working.  So I had to wait until Adam got back from an errand.  He fixed the computer and then left to go do something else.  So the computer is working and all.  I’m working on some last-second invitations and using my spreadsheet and looking up people online to get their addresses.  I was trying to look at the yellow pages.  So suddenly my computer won’t work and its very clear to me that I then had a virus on my desktop.  How did I know that?  Because 2 weeks ago I totally hosed my work laptop when the same thing started happening.  Argggh.  I was getting seriously annoyed.  So I wait some more for Adam to get back and he lets me use his laptop, which actually I’ve kind of adopted lately.  And then it freezes up….like completely.  Adam tells me its not my fault, he had to reconfigure something or whatever.  I was livid and started freaking out.

By the end of the night we completed all the tasks I needed to do (order nylons, check on my shoe order, book a hotel, find a bunch of addresses, add stamps to some sent back for additional postage, address some last minute invites, email the officiant, and a few other things) but not without seriously having a few panic attacks.  I guess I felt completely overwhelmed.  I had wanted to also finish the party favors and then I realized the officiant wanted our vows right away and Kim all the names and addresses for their family shower they are throwing me.  And here I couldn’t get a computer to work for the lfie of me.

Then I cried about everything that has bothered me lately.  My weight gain.  Me missing my mother.  Me being so bloody jealous of girls whose mothers did everything for their wedding.  It all hit me like a ton of bricks and I found it hard to breathe.

I locked myself in a room and cried.  Adam came and just held me.  Then later I was crying, doubled over the dishwasher cleaning up after the open house.  I just really wanted a break from it all.  I wanted like 4 hours to not do any wedding, cleaning, or house stuff.  Just was drained physically, emotionally, etc.  And the crying fit did little to help with any of that.  I had the worst bloody headache.  Of course it was my period and I was having the worst cramps at the same time.  I laugh about it now, but it was scary.  I get stressed and may have a cry occasionally, but seriously not like that.  I hope Bridezilla is gone and never comes back.

Maybe its just weird, like when I went to my gyno and her nurse ‘helper’ was a lady I’ve played soccer with. I don’t know why, but its oddly comforting when the people all up in your stuff, is someone you don’t have any outside relationship with. Weird.

You know what else is weird? I’m attending a training this week (at a hotel) and I’m not the one training. Woot! That’s so refreshing!

Buying a House

I got a comment that I’ve been MIA, and I have to apologize! I’ve totally been a slacker seriously. Why have I been so horrible at blog keeping?

Well it all started about a month ago. Everyone kept saying we really should look into getting a house. At first I scoffed at the idea, not thinking it was even a remote possibility. Isn’t it smarter to be patient and totally get me out of debt?

But then we looked at it closer, and there really hasn’t been a better time to buy. We quality for the 8000 tax incentive for one, which was just extended for the last time until April 30. Prices are incredibly low. Interest rates are very low too. It just makes sense. So we looked at our finances and realized we could actually do it with a little sacrifice etc.

And we really do need a house. We have a 2 bedroom apartment and we need space so bad! Our pantry is underneath the table people. Its really bad!

Well I warned him that things tend to happen really quick for me, and boy did they! We found a house immediately! Click here to see the house! We love it! Its in a good area, its right across the street from one of my best friends!

We looked at different houses, and tons online etc. But it didn’t take us long to find the one we wanted! We are just so thrilled. It is seriously awesome. It has FIVE bedrooms, three upstairs which we love. Its not my fav that its split entry, but we love everything else about it. It has all been completely remodeled, everything painted and new carpet everywhere. The bathrooms all have new tile and fixtures, counters. Everything in the kitchen is brand new. Oh it is just so nice. And then downstairs they have extended it out so the living room downstairs is huge!!! We seriously love it. I cannot wait to move into it!

But holy cow people. All of you who have bought a house, you know our pain! There is so much involved. Its ten times harder than getting a job or anything I’ve ever done before. Thankfully our loan officer and realtor are friends of people we know so they are GREAT! They are helping us with the process, and actually things are going pretty smooth and fast to be honest. We have signed to buy it and everything.

It is being appraised currently, everything went great with the title. The loan is picture perfect due to Adam’s perfect credit! Gosh he is such a keeper! We did find some things with the house inspection. There were a few things to fix but also it has the original ac and furnace which are functioning, but BARELY. Yikes! So we send an addendum to the sellers asking for everything to be fixed and then to take off $5500 of the asking price due to those problems. They weren’t exactly thrilled about that. They said they would fix everything and look into replacing furnace and ac which I was excited about as it wasn’t an absolute refusal or anything. We should hear by today the results of that and tomorrow if everything is okay with the appraisal for our FHA loan.

We started packing already and OH! Just got a text that makes me SO HAPPY!!!! The seller is fixing ALL problems and replacing AC and FURNACE. Wahoo! I’m so dang excited!!! Oh man that is such a huge relief seriously!!!!

BRIDEZILLA

So have you ever seen how fast chickens run? Especially with the heads cut off, and they don’t exactly know which way they are going or how they will get there? Yeah that’s been me for about a month.

WE ARE INSANE TO BE GETTING MARRIED APRIL 9^TH AND GETTING IN A HOUSE AT SAME TIME. Seriously crazy are we! But it will work somehow. Not only are things crazy with trying to plan wedding etc and getting into the house, but work is all crazy too! When it rains it pours my friends!

I am so excited to get married. So fun! I have pretty much all of the decorations bought. We do have lots of things to assemble and work on that way. I have most of the addresses compiled-holy project and a half that has been! This weekend I’m going to print off the invitations and we have a little party with friends etc on Saturday to assemble some stuff. Yeah!

I have had a couple of bridezilla moments when I’ve freaked out about stuff lol.

Weight

I had gained over the holidays (like most the world I’m sure). After that I’ve stayed about the same. I skipped my weigh-in last week, but the week before I’d lost .9 pounds. J

So I heard from Brandon with casting again. Apparently I’m not fat enough. He said he is considering me for Biggest Loser that they cast in February and he said not to change a thing. I have the look, I have the personality. He said the reason I didn’t make it is because I wasn’t big enough. HA. Trust me, that is the first time I’ve ever heard that in my life. I feel better though.

Health

So I’m doing good eating wise, not sure I’ll have much time for exercise tonight, but I did get some activity in.

WALKING:

So Heather (co-worker and friend) and I went walking for 30 minutes today at work. It was really nice actually. I’m so proud of us for doing it! It was very cold but I feel so good from it. It really helps me as I’m so sore from my workout last night.

Random

Poor Adam. He has had to work late every night this week. I was teasing him that he had a girlfriend cuz he didn’t get home until 2. It’s a bitch being a programmer sometimes apparently.

Sheesh why is it when you are in a complete hurry (meaning you are still at work way too long after hours) that at that moment is when your mouse decides to not work? Argggh. Took me a minute to realize it just needed a new battery. Oh my aren’t I fancy with my wireless mouse lol?

I’m not gonna lie. It hurts. I found out officially I didn’t make the show. (The new weight loss reality tv show that ABC is doing).

I pretty much figured two weeks ago that I didn’t make it and cried a lot. But now that I know for reals, its so much worse.

I so shouldn’t blog right now because I’m having a pity party. Pity party for one. Sheesh. I just feel like a total loser.

I’m seriously at a loss as to why I didn’t get picked. From the videos I saw, I am more entertaining. I’m pretty-I have the look they want. I have a dramatic story definitely. So I just don’t get it. The only thing I can think of is that I’m not as out of shape as they want. Like possibly they want someone who can’t even tie their shoes etc so its more of a dramatic after.

How funny, see that bit about me being kind of fit for my weight screws me again. (Adam’s trainer says that’s why its so hard for me to lose).

I should stop now because I’m seriously grumpy. Deep down I know I can do it, but I guess I kind of doubt that at the moment. I will snap out of it.

PROJECT 200

YEAR SO FAR:

Exercise: 3/3 Days

Caffeine Withdrawal: 3/3 Days

Yeah me!!!!! I seriously rock. I know, I know. Hold your applause please!

FOOD:

Slacker didn’t count points today! But I know I followed it good.

EXERCISE:

I had a plan to hit the gym earlier in the day, but I ended up talking to Jen. OUR NIECE MEGAN IS GETTING MARRIED! AND SO IS JEN!!! They both got engaged around New Years, so we had lots to talk about. I went to storage and wrote down all the things I have bought/received (so much stuff I have gotten from Val-Adam’s mom. Totally love her). I even took pictures of stuff. It was a lot of work! Then went to Jen’s and did the same thing, cuz wedding is around the corner. Gotta get going on everything seriously.

It was a lot of fun talking wedding chat to Jen.

So anyway, my POINT was that I exercised later on at night. I did one of Turbo Jam’s Cardio parties lol. And it was totally a party (wonder if it was in my ass and legs, cuz they sure ache today). I could only do 25 of 50 minutes of it.

WHATEVER (Journal Moments):

Afternoon

We went and saw Avatar. OMG it was so good! You know when you see a movie and you are completely taken in, forgetting it was a movie. I’m not even sure you have to be a geek to appreciate it. I think there is something for everyone. There is plenty of action and special effects for the men. There is a little romance for the ladies. 3d for the kids. Seriously the combination of all of that was pure magic. One of the most beautiful as far as the picture goes. Anyway go see it and if you do, you have to see it on the IMAX or 3D viewing. Its so worth it!

PROJECT 200

WEIGH-IN:

378

So I did weigh myself but didn’t go to Weight Watchers. Slacker! It’s a terrible excuse but seriously this cold is still kicking my ass hard-core. I just couldn’t get up early at all. This lazy gig stayed in bed until right before we went to the gym.

YEAR SO FAR:

Exercise: 2/2 Days

Caffeine Withdrawal: 2/2 Days

Yeah me!!!!!

FOOD:

Slacker didn’t count points today! I started off ok and then tapered off

Breakfast: toast, eggs & salsa, banana

Lunch: turkey sandwhich, bean dip & tortilla chips

Dinner: Homemade chicken vegetable soup & 2 wheat rolls

Snacks:

• Handful of whoppers
  
• Crackers
  
• Fiber One Bar
  
• Cheesestick
  
• Banana
  

THE GYM:

Well I did 10 more minutes than yesterday, so 30 all together. Woot! I did 10 on the elliptical and 20 on the treadmill.

The gym is SO much fun to people watch. Oh come on, admit you like it. In our gym it is upstairs, and there are 3 rows of machines. If you are on the front row, you can see down below and watch the men pumping iron-lol. And something funny I’ve noticed about all these buff guys-most of them are super short, like they are compensating for something. Like how us chubby girls have gotta be cute. Like we aren’t already adorable lolz. But the downside to being on the first row, is you know that guys are staring at your ass. I have a total shelf-butt and people probably are pulled into it’s gravitational force-amazed and shocked by its grandeur. Seriously, I think my butt probably weighs like 40 pounds just alone-maybe more.

And if you are on the 2^nd or 3^rd row, sadly you cannot see the muscle men, but you have plenty of READING material. If you forgot your headphones or a magazine, or book, just take a look at the shorts or pants. Why just today I read apostrophe, juicy, and candy on asses. It’s fun to see what people wear too and how they act.

And it’s the second of January, so you have LOTS of extra people which is kind of funny. You have to admire them and their ‘New Year’s resolutions’. But you know there won’t be half as many in 2-3 weeks. There were TONS of people today. Its kind of a rhythmic hum as all those machines working-all those sweating bodies. It should really stink more than it does.

There is one girl that goes to the singles ward I used to be in, back in my religious days. She has lost a TON of weight which so impresses me. She is a great example to me. There is this really old couple who are so sweet. There is couple who are so cute to watch who jog. I find it especially funny when you catch someone doing something they figure no one else can see like picking their nose or picking a melvin when their underwear has just ridden up too much.

One girl I saw today I seriously envy. She wasn’t super thin-really shapely but tone and about my height. She looked so cute, but not in a ‘bitch’ or ‘I think I’m all that’ kind of way. She was wearing a tank top and pants that showed off her figure, but it was modest-neither her boobs or ass was hanging out. So envious of that. I would love to be able to wear that. Just have to keep it up!

WHATEVER (Journal Moments):

Afternoon

So we are playing D & D (Dungeons and Dragons) tonight. I only really played once before. I remember thinking as a young child that people who did that were freaks or devil-worshippers. LOL, I don’t know why I thought that. Now I just know they are geeks. Thank God we aren’t dressing up or anything (though why do I think its ok to do that for Murder Mystery Parties lol). Gotta create a character and Adam’s brother’s and Kristen (Nick’s girlfriend) are coming over to play. I’m going to make them chicken noodle soup. Still need to do some cleaning so its gonna be busy!

Tomorrow we are seeing Avatar-sheesh I really AM a geek. Adam brought out my inner geek, but I know I always was one. Besides the gym, I also want to do some wedding stuff-holy cow just over 3 months so I really need to kick it in gear! I also need to start reading this book for work. So much fun!

This week at work is going to be crazy. Probably going to have to put in some overtime, but that’s life. J

And I guess I could get a call from the show on Monday, but I’m only secretly counting on it J

Evening

Dungeons and Dragons was actually pretty fun, and there was absolutely no satan worshipping at all. Oh its just like any other game really. Its kind of like an adventure game where you fight things etc, and how well you do, depends on what you roll on the dice. Kind of like an adventurous bonko. Adam is so cute! He is a really good story-teller so that makes it really fun.

PROJECT 200

EXERCISE:

Still haven’t been feeling the greatest or anything, but I did go to the gym. Did the treadmill at a crazy slow speed because I’m hacking all over the place and just so not feeling well. But I’m proud of myself for making the effort, because it certainly wasn’t easy. I just really didn’t want to. But its amazing as I was walking. I just felt so proud of myself for doing it, and some of my determination is coming back.

MIND/SOUL:

I’m convinced your heart has to be in it full-fledged. It can’t just be that you want it. You have to WANT it mind, body, and soul. You have to have a serious hunger for it-this quest to health.

And yes, project 200 has not gone how I expected, but that’s ok. It has evolved into something different. It is now my quest to get under 200 pounds. But I will place no time goal on it. I expect it could take me 3 years, but it doesn’t matter. All my life I was taught that you had to have very specific goals, and they had to have a time stamp on them. But in all of the years I’ve tried to lose weight, that has seriously bit me majorly in the ass. I put too much pressure on myself and get too impatient. I’ll expect it to happen so quick. The problem with that is that you don’t always lose as quickly as you would like. But I was losing is the thing. But it wouldn’t be much and I would get all depressed. Sometimes people knew I was working on things and not meeting those expectations could be hard as well sometimes. But forget all that.

Here are my objectives:

• Be patient
  
• Eat healthy
  
• Exercise
  
• Life life!
  

MISCELLANEOUS:

New Years Eve

We had SO much fun last night. Well and lunch was a blast too. We hung out with Matt and Jen who are moving to Australia because Matt got a job offer. So cool! These are our friends we play Wow with. It was a blast! So nice catching up with them.

We went to Adam’s family and played games last night. Old dad and Cynthia were there. Its this couple that Val and Brad (Adam’s parents) know. I so ate too much food but it was a blast

My Sis is Engaged!

Wahoo for Jen! She is also engaged, so we are both getting married in 2010! Wahoo!

PROJECT 200

I am doing good still foodwise.

WHATEVER (Journal Moments):

Morning

Do you ever just wish for a moment that you could get hit by a truck? I mean I don’t really mean that and I’m not suicidal or anything….maybe I just wish I could escape the country for a few days. Oh better yet, maybe I could be a bear and just hibernate for the winter. That would be awesome.

I woke up and I feel WORSE this morning. Seriously came in at 9 instead of 8 because I couldn’t get my ass out of bed. My throat hurts so bad and I’m coughing and my nose is a damn faucet. So grumpy its not even funny. I’m just hoping that no one talks to me at work today-I have no patience for it.

I looked out the window to see that it is snowing and the roads are terrible. Oh yeah. When I hugged Adam goodbye I told him there was no way in hell I was going to the gym tonight because I could barely drag myself out of bed. And I still love him to pieces, but here he could sleep all day-he has the entire week off. I’m bitterly jealous about that.

People keep asking me about the blasted show so now I’ve been thinking about it again. Just want a confirmation about it. I’d pretty much given it up entirely, but now I keep thinking ‘well its possible’. Grrrr.

Afternoon

Of course its snowing again for the evening drive. Time to get the hell out of dodge. Thank God I don’t work tomorrow! Seriously haven’t been this miserable (or complained quite as much lol) with a cold forever!